Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Years ago I was struck by a comment made by a sister in Christ that God’s will might not be just one thing. It reminded me of a previous encounter with a dedicated follower who had said he was passing up an opportunity in favor of waiting on God’s perfect will. Both had a vision of God’s will in their lives as being fluid, changing, building up like a wave headed for shore..

I had that thought trapped in my mind until this morning as I lay awake at 2 a.m. trying to get back to sleep. I’ve made two tries now in a work that is due October 2^nd. I am still not satisfied, it isn’t perfect. As I said those words to myself I saw the connective passage that lead my brother and sister in Christ to focus on God’s will and see it as shifting. The answer was there all the time.

I am transformed. I no longer settle for good. I no longer settle for acceptable. I now strive for perfect. God’s will has not changed, I have. When we strive to seek God’s will in our lives we often focus so strongly on the will, that we might know it and walk in it, that we lose focus on the proof.

Have I settled for good enough? Has my seeking been superficial, skimming of His Word and not letting it sink into my mind? Have I seen myself as accepted and settled on the praise of men as having found His will? Or have I allowed the Word to transform me to a point where nothing less than God being glorified is satisfying?

God’s will does not change, we do.

John 14:3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

John 16:7 Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.

“If I go” appears twice in scriptures and there have been no bigger ifs in all the world. It has troubled me that Jesus used this phrase “if I go”. Phrases like “I and the Father are One” led me to believe that Jesus knew all things as the Father did. If makes me wonder. If implies that decisions haven’t been made. If implies that not all things are a forgone conclusion. If doesn’t not have to imply doubt.

There are so many times in my life I have used the words “If only I had done something else.” The doubt in self comes from wrong choices. I didn’t like the result of my choices. That leads me to doubt myself and be more careful. When I see Jesus say “if I go” my tendency is to apply my experience to His words.

Then I remember that Jesus said that only the Father knew the hour of His return. Given that being One is not one in knowledge, that it is one is character, purpose, will, and perfection, then if becomes clear. Jesus did not have enough information to make a decision. Jesus knew things that were asked of Him but He was waiting for more information before making a decision.

Matthew 26:38-39 Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me. And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.

The last piece of information Jesus needed to ask of the Father before He made this important decision was to ask, “Is there any other way?” His decision to willingly submit Himself to death on the cross and to take on the sins of the world tells me the Father’s answer was “No.”

Don’t confuse self-doubt with doubts about Jesus.