1 Corinthians 13:5b Love is not selfish

But that isn’t what the word says. The words are “seeketh not her own”. Paul’s use of the Greek word heautou is a reflective pronoun which is a genitive case (dative case or accusative case) and carries with it a need to assign gender. His or her matters not, it is the reflective nature of the word that causes us to look inward towards self rather than God’s attribute.

It is the only time within these descriptions of agape love that the genitive case is used. Perhaps that is because God is selfish, not in the sense that we are selfish but all you have to do is look to the first commandment to find a most singular selfish moment. You shall have no other gods before me. (Exodus 20:3)

God is selfish in this sense for our sake, that none should perish. (John 3:15) The use of the reflective pronoun is intended to make us examine our motives in selfishness. I love my wife, I do not want any other man to have her. That selfish moment is born of commitment and the oath we took towards each other. There are other moments within our relationship that are selfish by nature which are not born of commitment or oath.

We have agape love in us but the other types of love also reside alongside agape. Eros and phileo are still very much a part of our daily experience. Both of those types of love carry with them a certain amount of selfishness. An imbalance of selfishness in either type will ruin a relationship.

Philippians 4:5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.