Galatians 5:7 Ye did run well; who did hinder you that ye should not obey the truth?
As a young child I loved to run. I ran everywhere with joy and without effort. I also ran without purpose, the act of running was enough to make me feel great. I had no consideration for anyone else and I needed no one else to enjoy running.
Running in the spirit without purpose is a waste of energy. It is a waste of time and helps no one, not even Christ. I have to admit here that my youth in Christ was spent alone. It took me some time to recognize I needed to be in fellowship.
I had already separated myself from those old friends who only wanted to drag me back into bad habits. It was like someone in AA no longer going to bars. It just wasn’t a good idea. I had not yet sought new friends, nor did I understand the need for fellowship.
Even after I began attending a church, I didn’t feel like I fit in with their fellowship. I was the new kid in school, a stranger among lifelong friends. It felt much like my childhood school days. Here to learn but not secure in any relationship.
The church I attended was one of the charismatics. I didn’t know what that meant. For all I knew this was the only way to worship. I had not developed any spiritual discernment and all the judgments I made there were in the flesh. My previous bad experiences led me to see things in ways that never worked well for me outside of church. They led me nowhere in the church.
I found myself running without purpose within the confines of a new field, still aimless and still alone. This was my selfish education phase. I was there for me, not for them.