Psalm 121:8 The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

I do not often talk about my war, Vietnam. There was way too much craziness to relate to a Christian devotional, but this psalm brought me into remembrance of listening posts.

Perhaps the scariest of all the things I have been asked to do, certainly the loneliest, was being sent out for night watch, in the jungle, alone, on a listening post. I was sent out first to establish a position of observation on a trail leading to and from our main encampment. I was about one hundred yards from the outer perimeter.

When the night ambush patrols went out, I watched with gun and radio in hand. I was to ensure no enemy was following them out of camp after sundown. All during the night I waited and listened. You have no idea how pitch black the jungle can be at night. Just before dawn the patrol would make its way back into camp.

I would receive a call on my radio that they were coming in. This was the scariest part. In the pitch black of night I had armed men walking at me with as much stealth as they could muster. I would not know if these muted sounds were friend or foe until they were right on top of me. I had to restrain my anxiety and count off the patrol as they walked past me.

Then it was my job to make sure the enemy was not following the patrol to camp. Alone.

Is this what God does for us?

If so, I take greater comfort to know it is God on the listening post of life and not me.

Psalm 17:1 Hear the right, O Lord, attend unto my cry, give ear unto my prayer, that goeth not out of feigned lips.

Can you honestly tell me you have never faked it? If your answer is no, then “You are a better man than I am Gunga Din.” The truth is we are human and there will be times when we are asked to participate when our hearts just aren’t in it.

In those moments what is wrong with admitting it? Isn’t it possible that a deeper human connection might become possible in fellowship if you allow yourself to be vulnerable?

1 Corinthians 2:1,3,5 And I, brethren, when I came to you, came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom, declaring unto you the testimony of God. And I was with you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling. That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

What if it is your vulnerability that is needed rather than wisdom? What if your communion is needed more than leadership? What if they just do not want to feel alone? Setting ourselves above and apart from worldly woes is illusionary. All God has ever asked of us is to be honest. Why can’t we be honest with each other? Are we afraid to be found human?

1 Corinthians 15:28 And when all things shall be subdued unto him, then shall the Son also himself be subject unto him that put all things under him, that God may be all in all.

I would rather be subdued than “on top of it” so that God might be found in me.