Ecclesiastes 3:1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

I will not share with you everything that happened while I attended that charismatic church. Their focus was on the spiritual gifts and there was no focus there on the gracious gifts or the service gifts. While my gift came into clear focus, there was no place for me to serve in that church with my gift.

A newcomer that was a high school teacher was given a place to teach Sunday School. One day he asked me what grace meant. My answer was “God pouring out His love into my life.”

“Wrong!”

He was looking for the book answer “unmerited favor.” I will never give a book answer when speaking from my heart where His Word abides. I do not have the gift of teaching. So there was no position in that church for me to serve using my gift.

I remained in the church even though I felt the sting of being left out. Then one Sunday a visiting evangelist from Scotland spoke and I could hear the message loud and clear. “It is time to leave.” So I begged my leave and returned home to further my gift in the solitude of my own home.

Then my wife at the time became ill and I became her primary care giver for five years until she died. It felt good to be needed. I discovered how rewarding it was to serve. It was the best five years of our 37 years of marriage. I will not speak to the other 32 years. It serves no spiritual purpose for these posts.

The next six months were spent seeking God’s will for my next season of life.

1 Corinthians 14:1-5 English Standard Version

Prophecy and Tongues

1 Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts, especially that you may prophesy. 2 For one who speaks in a tongue speaks not to men but to God; for no one understands him, but he utters mysteries in the Spirit. 3 On the other hand, the one who prophesies speaks to people for their upbuilding and encouragement and consolation. 4 The one who speaks in a tongue builds up himself, but the one who prophesies builds up the church. 5 Now I want you all to speak in tongues, but even more to prophesy. The one who prophesies is greater than the one who speaks in tongues, unless someone interprets, so that the church may be built up.

The basic training in that charismatic church focused on trying to discover which spiritual gifts we had in order to serve the church. The method used to test me to see if I had the gift of tongues was flawed as far as I was concerned. What did I know, I still did not know what I did not know. Their training fostered a bit of unbelief in that gift altogether.

When I fell asleep that night I woke up the next morning speaking in tongues. I was no longer in control of my own voice. When I realized that I became fearful and then it stopped.

Mark 9:24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

The meaning of that passage became painfully clear to me. My unbelief needed to be corrected. Just because I did not demonstrate that gift did not mean it wasn’t real.

So if I do not get to pick and choose which gifts are granted, how was I to discover them?

When we were offered the Henry Blackaby course Experiencing God it showed me how to deepen my own personal relationship with God and discover my special place in His Kingdom. His Word came alive in me.

What that meant and how to use it to serve the church was another matter. There was still much to learn.