1 Corinthians 7:8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.

When my first wife died she made me promise to get remarried, she said I deserved to be happy. Do I keep my promise or obey my Lord?

During those five years of serving as husband, father, care giver and employee, I was promoted to production planner and moved out into a cubicle on the production floor. It was there that my fellow employees, having witnessed my change into the “new man”, came seeking advice.

One in particular was instrumental in my next season of life. He asked; “I prayed to God for a godly woman and I know He gave me this wife. Why is it that she makes me so miserable?”

My answer still rings in my ears even today, “You prayed for what you wanted rather than what God wanted for you.”

He ended up doing that and ended up remarrying his first wife and being the father to his twin sons. The day he left work he said, “I am moving to Louisiana and becoming a pastor.”

When my wife died I took my own advice. “Father, what is your will for me?”

The next six months God showed me through signs and wonders what my next wife had gone through so that when I would meet her I would know she was God’s choice for me.

I was ready to meet her but God had not revealed her to me. Why show me all this and not show me this woman? Then the quoted opening verse spoke to me. Frustrated and disappointed in all I have been through those six months I screamed at God, “Fine have it your way.”

Then God revealed her to me. Our first date lasted for 14 hours and we still talk about it today 20 years later. God was with us that day in the middle of everything we did. Her brother called while we were at dinner to ask “Has he kidnapped you?” We looked at our watches and laughed. We had no idea we had been gone that long.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

I will not share with you everything that happened while I attended that charismatic church. Their focus was on the spiritual gifts and there was no focus there on the gracious gifts or the service gifts. While my gift came into clear focus, there was no place for me to serve in that church with my gift.

A newcomer that was a high school teacher was given a place to teach Sunday School. One day he asked me what grace meant. My answer was “God pouring out His love into my life.”

“Wrong!”

He was looking for the book answer “unmerited favor.” I will never give a book answer when speaking from my heart where His Word abides. I do not have the gift of teaching. So there was no position in that church for me to serve using my gift.

I remained in the church even though I felt the sting of being left out. Then one Sunday a visiting evangelist from Scotland spoke and I could hear the message loud and clear. “It is time to leave.” So I begged my leave and returned home to further my gift in the solitude of my own home.

Then my wife at the time became ill and I became her primary care giver for five years until she died. It felt good to be needed. I discovered how rewarding it was to serve. It was the best five years of our 37 years of marriage. I will not speak to the other 32 years. It serves no spiritual purpose for these posts.

The next six months were spent seeking God’s will for my next season of life.