Dissatisfaction

2 Samuel 12:8d if that had been too little, I would moreover have given unto thee

I am going to be honest with you about this. I have asked my spiritual advisors about this verse more than once and have not received an answer which satisfies me. I was dissatisfied. It never occurred to me that I might be looking at it from the wrong point of view.

My question had been, “Does God provide for those things we desire?” My question should have been, “Why was David dissatisfied?” I was hoping beyond hope to be satisfied by God so that I would stop trying to satisfy myself. I know that it is sinful to covet. Covet is a state of mind. If God provides for desires that does not change my state of mind. Like David I will just continue to covet. I’m no better than David.

What develops a right attitude in me?

Psalm 90:14 O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.

Dissatisfaction is stirred by ingratitude. I have not taken proper care of my thankfulness for the mercies already rendered unto me. My life has been so focused on all the evil around me, filled with concern, filled with sorrow, filled with desperately seeking answers. I have neglected my thankfulness. I stopped rejoicing, which is my choice. God has given me something to rejoice over, but the choice to rejoice is mine.

I let me down, not God.

This Life

John 6:53 It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.

When I made Jesus the Lord of my life I hung on every word because I was so close to death. Having just become a new creation in Christ Jesus, being born again, I had a fresh memory of what it felt like to be without Him. His words were spirit and life, I knew what that meant to me.

Now years later, being secure, being comfortable in my relationship with my Lord, I have to admit not every word has that same sense of urgency as it did back then, I do not want to allow comfort to turn into complacency. I still need correction, instruction, direction and grace. When you walk in the spirit you get all that without the dread of death which you might have felt when you first came to Christ.

I can find meaning in almost every scripture I read, no matter where in the bible I read. I hear the spirit speak to me through my brothers and sisters in Christ. It isn’t always life affirming, it isn’t always about making a difference in my life, in my walk. If I tried to describe it, perhaps it is like laying on my side and feeling the blood pulsing strongly through a major artery. It is life affirming without being life altering.

I share my thoughts and what I see in the spirit and perhaps, God willing, they bring relevance to you, where you are today. If so praise God. I seek the words not because I fear death, but because I love the life. I want to keep the flow of life beating strong so that I can feel it.

John 6:68 Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.

Verily, verily.