1 Kings 19:10 And he said, I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.

What to see something interesting?

1 Kings 19:14 And he said, I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts: because the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.

In verses 11, 12, and 13 is those wonderful verses telling us where we will not find God and where we will find God. Read that for yourself but I do not want to distract you from this opportunity for human connection.

Being in the presence of God did not change how Elijah felt.

I find that very interesting. While I have been seeking to be in His presence in order to eradicate myself from my emotional turmoil, I discover that being in His presence does not change my feelings. Did I seek God for the wrong reasons? We are supposed to bring our supplications before the Lord.

In the following verses God instructs Elijah to “Go”! Perhaps I should have asked what God wanted of me, rather than seeking relief.

I find the last instruction to be most enlightening in my present condition.

Verse 16 paraphrased “Anoint Elisha to take your place”.

This ministry is large than me and will continue after I am gone.

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Yesterday I was so upset I could not hear the Lord. Who knew it was going to be a learning lesson for me? The Lord.

I’ve been trying of late to understand my fellow Christians better. Not to know them as individuals so much but to try and understand their obstacles to growth in Christ. I will not say that what has happened to me over the past days applies to every Christian, but it might apply to some.

The assumption on my part that sin stands in the way is not valid in all cases where growth in Christ is concerned. There are some in Christ who have conquered their battle with sin through faith. Praise the Lord. That does not mean they have come closer to Christ. Yes, they have won a huge battle and it is so important, but that is but one battle.

When I found forgiveness at the cross recently something happened I did not anticipate. A flood of emotions I had buried and had not dealt with came flooding in. Once I let go of the pain from my past through forgiveness, I unlock all the feelings I had been suppressing along with the pain.

I understand this is just me and this situation does not fit everyone but if it helps just one, then it is well worth it. What was blocking my hearing the Lord was not a distancing of self from Him, it was strong emotions. God gave us feeling to be used in His service. Compassion and understanding are vital parts of service. They are not meant to take over our lives, to be lost to them.

Holding on to the peace of God in the middle of emotional turmoil is a difficult thing. I see that now.