1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Since when is confession the same thing as seeking forgiveness? The illusion of sameness is ancient. It stems from “Forgive me father for I have sinned.” This is seeking forgiveness from man not God. The issue of confession is admission of sin and the discussion needs to move forward to contrition, a change in attitude and direction.

I will admit there is high value in confession but the purpose is not forgiveness, it is submission and accountability. We are to be subject one to another. This is not the surrender of rights and responsibilities, it is seeking counsel and encouragement from another believer. That person does not have to be your priest, elder or pastor. As long as that person has demonstrated love towards you is what is required.

It is called accountability partners. You need someone who puts your best interest to heart. This partnership can only be discovered in fellowship of the saints. He or she (same sex) needs to be a believer with the same foundational beliefs you hold. All tensions and contentions must be absent in this relationship. If you cannot trust this person, you will not confess your deepest and darkest moments.

It has to be a two way street. You need to be there for them just as much as they are for you. None of us are beyond the need for succor. If one side is the only confessor, then he loses the sense and opportunity for value in the relationship. Friendship has value when both side lend support.

I’ve had unproductive partners in the past. Those were ones who made lite of my confession with statements like, “We all feel that way.”; “That isn’t important.”; “Don’t worry about it.” If I come to you with a concern, then I am troubled and I need answers not permission.