Grow up, stop being children, learn how to love.

The Word says that in Ephesians 4. Not exactly those words but it’s there. I want to vent this morning. Mostly it has to do with old wounds, a changed life and failing to forgive.

No one can wound you as deeply as family. Jesus warned us in a way that didn’t come across clear in my first understanding. Matthew 10:36 And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.

I am not that child any longer. Who I am is a stranger to them. I am still treated as if I still hold that place in the family. The one I was closest to causes me the greatest pain. Always has and that has not changed.

Now for my part I tried to forgive the pain but pushing the pain into the past is not the same as forgiveness. How I discovered this was in this moment when I blew up and the pain came flowing out of my mouth like a stream of hot lava.

Things could have gone differently if I had known in my past while I was being hurt, how to speak the truth in love. Even now in my later years I still find it difficult to speak the truth in love. My excuse might be that it is a painful thing. Past efforts, far removed from events were met with “never happened”. That should not have been reason enough in my heart to withhold forgiveness, but sadly I let it.

Will my outburst burn down the house? I do not know yet. I pray God can do a healing work in me. That has to start with me. I pray that God might restore peace on His terms. We all need to grow up, stop being children and learn to love.

Matthew 10:20-21 And he answered and said unto him, Master, all these have I observed from my youth. Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven:

I have a trick question for you. Note here that I have already told you it is a trick question. What was the one thing this rich man lacked?

Let me ask it this way. Suppose this rich man did exactly what Jesus said and sold all that he had and gave it to the poor, does he get into heaven to collect his treasure in heaven?

Before you answer that question allow me to show you my trick. I did not quote all of verse 21. Jesus also said “and come, take up the cross, and follow me.” Now here is the trick, Jesus said take up the cross before His arrest, persecution, execution, death, burial, rising from the dead and ascension. How could this rich young man have been able to understand the work of the cross of Christ that had not even been performed yet?

Now look at this trick question from this side of the cross and ask yourself the really hard question, what one thing do I lack? I have read your laws and I have obeyed them. I have given you every last ounce of devotion. I love you with all joy and given of myself unselfishly. What one thing do I lack?

What if Jesus were to answer now, on this side of the cross and said “Me.”

So many of us get caught up in the doing that we forgot to take up the One who does everything for us and in us to the glory of the father. It matters not if we have emptied our hearts of every worldly care and concern if we haven’t let Jesus in to fill the emptiness.