Ephesians 2:14-16 (ESV) For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.

I cannot tell you how long it took me to realize that I was at war with God. I didn’t feel hostile towards God but then again, not knowing Him I had no idea how He felt about my life without Him. Coming to Christ didn’t feel like a surrender, not for a long time. My first thought was to come to know this God. I knew He loved me according to the Word but how He felt about me before that day escaped my attention.

Perhaps that is His design, that those first days of relationship are unburdened by negative thoughts about who we were without Christ. A fresh start just like the first birth with no recollection of life in the womb. It did not occur to me for a long time that just as my mother suffered pain in child birth that God might suffer pain getting me delivered in His Kingdom. If you are not there yet, do not hurry into these thoughts yet. Hold His hand and feel the warmth of His love as long as you can.

If you are there and want to explore this side of God then allow me to point out one thing that is consistent in all the translations of Ephesians 2:16 and that is how the hostility ended. Killing, death, a permanent end with no chance of rekindling those hostilities. It was not enough to say the war ended for earthly wars occur over and over by reigniting hostilities. Not so with God.