Ephesians 5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Yesterday I confessed that I have trust issues. This makes it difficult for me to be a friend. I have had difficulty in doing as urged in Ephesians 5:21. It was said of me that I am a difficult person. Most people do not know why and even if they understood they would still find it difficult to deal with a brother who has trust issues.

One of the things I recognized in my walk with Christ is the need for an accountability partner. Being one who needs to trust but has no skills in trust. The demands placed on an accountability partner become just that more difficult. I see things a certain way. If he didn’t see it my way, then it fed my trust issues and just made things worse.

Gratefully a pastor set me up with just the right partner. I tested him, that’s for sure. But grace won out and his patience has been rewarded with a great brother in the Lord. Not me, him. I still have trust issues.

What helped was an eye opening conversation about being subject one to another. The Lord was there leading the conversation as always when a simple truth awoke in me. The subject of a sentence is what is being talked about. If I make him the subject of the conversation and he makes me the subject of the conversation, then we are being subject, one to another.

The first issue of trust making has to be in showing you are interested in the person in front of you. If I know that you have my best interest at heart, trust is built.

Trust is a bridge built from both sides.

1 Samuel 2:3 Talk no more so exceeding proudly; let not arrogancy come out of your mouth: for the Lord is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed.

Confession can be a painful experience and to be effective, it should be painful. So here again, I find myself confessing to all my flaws. I hope that the cover up ends. In truth I hide behind a persona that attempts to hide a weakness within myself.

I have trust issues. I’ve had trust issues for years. My life experiences have made the problem worse not better. Coming out, trying to right this wrong isn’t easy. It isn’t something you can will to go away. It isn’t something you can pray away. Right now I am trying to expose this to the light of truth and see if the truth can make it fade away.

I chose this opening verse because I see the Lord telling me that it will take more than words. Action is required. People like me withhold self from friendship. I have very little experience in being a friend. It was shown to me that to have friends you need to be a friend. I will not come out of this condition if I do not act. Others are not responsible for taking the first step, I am.

John 15:15 Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.

Jesus had no home, no job, no money when He said this. He had nothing to offer but Himself. I true friend is not one that can do for you, he is one that shares himself with you. In these times, when life is so hurried, so worrisome, so dangerous, it becomes harder and harder to find time to spend being a friend. That should not be an excuse for holding off what needs to be done.

Disciples were sent out by twos. Much can be said about that ministry but do not let the obvious escape us. It takes two to share.