John 20:4-5 So they ran both together: and the other disciple did outrun Peter, and came first to the sepulchre. And he stooping down, and looking in, saw the linen clothes lying; yet went he not in.

I believe this “other disciple” that outran Peter was John himself. In John’s writings, rather than pointing out his own actions, he would use this term, the other disciple. Given that John wrote his gospel at an old age, he might have forgotten why he had not enter in to investigate further. I can see it being intentional by design.

Having a sign of the resurrection of Christ, what kept you from going in and investigating further? Only you can answer that question for yourself. If I were to tell you what kept me from investigating further, it might taint your recollections. Given it was so long ago, I might not even be honest with myself.

In those moments being honest with ourselves is all we can do. It might not cause us to move forward as Peter did, but John wasn’t Peter. You are not me. You have your own reasons, if you have not sought an answer during your darkest days.

v8 Then went in also that other disciple, which came first to the sepulchre, and he saw, and believed.

Here again, that other disciple, John finally entered in to see for himself. Doesn’t this remind you of two children in a scary situation? “I’m not going in there. You go.” Let someone else take that first risky step.

Anyone out there relate to the need for a wingman? Maybe if things get too scary, you will push them or hide behind them. So much for personal responsibility in relationship, but it is dark and you cannot see.

Will the evening bring any light?

Luke 24:3 And they entered in, and found not the body of the Lord Jesus.

The light of the world is gone. It is day two of the three darkest days in history. It is however our first opportunity to observe the apostles. They went looking for Jesus where they expected to find Him. All they found was an empty hole.

When life presents its darkest hours, it is that empty hole in our hearts that hurts the most. We go looking for a way to fill the hole and end the pain. We go looking first where He is not. Are we looking in the right place, for the right thing, at the right time?

During these three days the actions of the apostles might speak to us about our own darkest days. Dare we look or do we know enough that we want to run and hide? My darkest days were not pretty. It is not easy to look at them with any objective forgiveness. At the time I was as far from peace and forgiveness as I’d ever been.

Rather than going to that really dark place, let us look to the group as a whole. What was happening in their world that we might relate to in our own experience?

How about feeling persecuted? They were being hunted down to be questioned vigorously about where the body went. Accusations were being made. No one wanted to believe them, much less listen to them.

A loneliness, even in the middle of a group, sets in when you are in darkness. You hear rumors and want to believe the worst in everyone. You come to even doubt your friends. Thomas might have been the only one brave enough to voice his doubts. Fear often causes us to avoid sharing how we feel.