John 14:16 King James Version (KJV) And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;

John 14:16 English Standard Version (ESV) And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever,

I prefer the title Comforter over Helper simply because my first experiences with the Holy Spirit was in receiving comfort. During those early days of reading my bible, comfort was something I needed and I was not even aware of it at the time. God knew me better than I knew myself.

Psalm 104:15 English Standard Version (ESV) and wine to gladden the heart of man, oil to make his face shine and bread to strengthen man’s heart.

This was being done in me and for me at a time when I had no understanding of what wine and bread represented. Who was making this happen? Was it something I was doing, or something that was being done to me? Perhaps it is a little of both. I was reading God’s Word and the Holy Spirit was using my reading to enact God’s will for me. My awareness would come with time.

My first comforts were all about me. I was the one who was a mess. His Word was slowly straightening me out through no real effort on my part except in continuing to read my bible. One of the first changes in thinking for me came about when I saw relevant meaning for others. It seemed that a verse or passage might help someone I knew was troubled.

I wanted to help someone else in the same manner I had been helped.

2 Corinthians 1:4 English Standard Version (ESV) who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

How could I help someone else if I didn’t understand how I had been helped?

Romans 15:13 English Standard Version (ESV) May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

I admit that my life was a mess and I felt bad about myself and that is why I returned to reading the bible. I continued reading my bible because reading the bible made me feel better about myself.

I was not aware that I was believing. I thought I was just reading and that the act of reading was what made me feel better about myself. I had no one to study with. I had no one to discuss the passages with me. I studied alone in the dark and that in itself made a difference in me. I was finding relevant meaning without understanding how the Word of God was making a difference.

How could the Word of God give me joy and peace in believing if I didn’t even understand that I was believing?

Just receiving the Word changes us in ways that only time can reveal. Without someone to guide you through the nuances of meanings, you are left alone with your thoughts. The fact that I favored the archaic language of the KJV made things even more unclear. I might have favored it because it was archaic and required me to think.

Reading the Word of God alone had one distinct advantage which I was not even aware of during those days. No one else was influencing me in what to think. Error was not being taught. Any mistakes were of my own making and not those of others.

During those times I had a guide that I was not even aware of because His influence was so gentle and considerate of me that He was not a strong presence. It took time to come to know Him in His role in my life.

I did not know the Holy Spirit but He was always there.